fall forward

We're ten days from leaving the East Coast for the Pacific Northwest and cheesy or not, it's put a brand new sheen on all of New York. Walking around Nolita was more like living a movie than ever before - all the scents and sounds were pronounced. The crunch of leaves underfoot sang harmoniously with the whine of lost tourists and the roar of cabs on Broadway. Alright, that was cliche but that's the mood of the day.

I can't help but feel the boarded-up buildings in front of me create a little remorse. Not that it's even possible but I wish I'd done more. I wish I caught that fantastic restaurant before it went out of business, wish I had rowed boats in Central Park, wish I had the time, money and energy for every museum. Perhaps the daunting size of CMJ has me re-intimidated by all the city has to offer and how little of it we've seen. Two years may as well have been two days. I wish I had a camcorder to record the most menial of walks from home to the subway, from the bank to the park.

Fall is a season of nostalgia and my heart hurts both for the New York I am losing and the Seattle I am getting back. Gone will be the cuddling against the cold, broke-yet-inviting feeling of our apartment. Gone will be the fun of yelling at cab drivers who hate driving to Brooklyn. Gone will be the 'street meat' carts, the Greenpoint sandwiches and the delivery of every kind. But I welcome pho, friends and family. I long for the Christmas I now get to have with them and for all events, big and small.

This is all a wonderful change and in no way for the better or worse. Change just leaves one feeling simultaneously torn and tied up. We are both here and there financially and emotionally and I guess I want the dust settled.

I'll be back for you New York.